Monday 4th

After another weekend passing and me not even noticing, I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock, another 'Groundhog day'. Five minutes passed as I lay there wondering what delights were in store, before throwing myself off of the top bunk. Probably one of the worst things in the day is that initial burst of freezing cold air on opening the door from your 'grot' (room). Bosh! There you have it, an instant nip that would put Charlie Dimmock to shame. A sprint to and from the heads in towel and flip-flops is a must other wise hypothermia sets in and then into rig and off to scran. Today's duty for myself and three other lucky devils was Crash 15, which basically means that we are on a fifteen-minute standby to be deployed to any situation in our green camper van, oops! I mean B.F.A (Battle Field Ambulance). The morning passed without incident but we got a shout in the afternoon. A mother and three young children were involved in a road traffic accident and were transported back to our hospital by BdLCpl 'Shuggie' McGleish to get checked over by our hospital staff. Fortunately they all proved to be fine and it was our job to take them home. We chose to take an interpreter nicknamed 'Alabama' with us to give us directions and also to give the lads a morale boost, as she's not exactly ugly! After thirty minutes of driving they were home safely and we were on route back to camp, another happy customer.

Tuesday 5th

Today my section was on Crash 30. At 0930 we were to give a talk through of our B.F.A. to CSgt Paul Basford, the unit PWI from RMSM. He arrived in theatre the day before and was to leave three days later, all right for some. We were asked to give him some pointers on what military training we thought would benefit the Band Service in the future. A good insight into the Sony Playstation and a course in waiting were just a couple of points brought up. We spun a few 'dits', a few more 'dits' and even more 'dits' which was quite amusing as CSgt Basford was going for that Commando macho image wearing just a shirt with sleeves rolled up, while we looked like three Michelin men, dressed in every bit of kit ever issued. We may have looked hideous but look Colours, no goose pimples. After single handedly changing the entire Band Service military training programme he left for a quick demonstration on the extraction of a casualty from a vehicle in a road traffic accident, breath taking performance by Musn Daff (Daffy). Apparently the demonstration was spectacular, what's new? Good effort fella's have another Bravo Zulu, Don't ask! The rest of the day passed with no major incidents so out came the Playstation until the early hours, rare!

Wednesday 6th

BdSgt Taff Ingram has his daily 'Tank' therapy!

If I'd have know what today was going to bring I would have stayed in bed! I was to be the vehicle commander of a B.F.A., the crew consisting of Marine Sullivan the driver and MA Al McNeil the medical assistant. We were off on Op Trojan. This basically consists of transporting Serbian patients from various villages to Serbian Hospitals. Firstly we picked up our interpreter named Marko and then to various locations picking up and dropping off patients. The morning passed with no glitches however the afternoon was something else. After completing the day's tasks by 1500 we began our route back to Harden Lines. Ten minutes from our destination we found ourselves getting flagged down by a British KFOR Landrover.

Two Royal Marine Commandos had come across a woman lying in the middle of the road so they had stopped to check her out. She wasn't injured at all but after giving her a quick medical evaluation we established she was definitely a raving loony. Obviously we couldn't just leave her there so we took her on board and waved off Royal, Cheers Fella's! The woman was dressed in rags and was wearing a headscarf, hiding most of her hair. The little hair that she did have showing was painted bright red along with the rest of her face. She actually looked quite scary to say the least. I felt sorry for poor Marko and mad Al being stuck in the back with her although mad Al seemed to strike up an instant rapport with our newfound friend. I asked Marko if she was Albanian or Serbian. He said that she was speaking Albanian so we decided to take her to Pristina Hospital as they will only take Albanians. A few seconds later she had totally changed languages and was now speaking Serb, which put a major spanner in the works. Marko told me that if we now took her to Pristina Hospital and she started speaking Serb then they would have her guts for garters, quite literally. We couldn't take her to our hospital as she wasn't injured and Pristina hospital was now out of the question. We parked up on a roundabout as we thought it over. At this point she began to sing 'Stand by me' by Benny King in fluent English at the top of her voice whilst trying to put her 'lippy' onto her lips and most of her face. Mad Al felt the need for a duet and also joined in whilst Marko was trying to disappear under his seat. I decided to radio through to our Ops room and ask them for some advice. They told me that they hadn't a clue and to wait out for instructions from Brigade. Whilst sat there waiting she then began to speak Turkish, that’s four languages in fifteen minutes, not bad for a nutter. Our instructions finally came from Brigade telling us that we were to take her to the UN Police force (UNMIK) in Pristina; we were off like a shot! On arriving at UNMIK I explained the situation to the officer at reception. He said that she wasn't their problem so I asked to see his boss, as there was no way we were leaving with this woman. After a few minutes negotiating with his boss he accepted that she was their responsibility and that he would send someone her around to collect her. I went back to the B.F.A. to let the other know the outcome to find her leaning through to the front massaging 'Sullys' shoulders. Sully looked quite traumatised as you can imagine. We kicked open the back doors as the UNMIK officer came out. As he looked into the back his exact words were "Oh no, not this woman" which told me that perhaps this wasn't her first time there. She stepped out of the back and tried to slap a big kiss on me which was quite attractive as she'd just eaten her lipstick. This really amused the police. After saying our goodbyes we were off like a rocket before they changed their minds and back to Harden Lines for a debrief. What a day!

Thursday 7th

Today I had to do a twenty-four hour guard duty at Paveway Lines. This is a duty for the marines and male bandies only. Paveway Lines camp is the British KFOR ammunition store, also situated in Pristina and only fifteen minutes from Harden Lines. If you are lucky you only pick one of these duties up every eight weeks. The camp has been broken into several times by locals as Musn Andy Mayher can tell you as he was stood on the gate not long ago whilst rounds were being fired at intruders within the camp. No one was hurt apart from one intruder that got a lucky snap from one of the camp guard dogs, named "Rory". Luckily I had a very boring duty and came back with all my bullets. Happy with that!

Friday 8th

Day off!! Slept all day, God I love my bed!

Saturday 9th

Yippee!!! Another 24hr gate duty. Our newly formed section turned up at 0750hrs at the guardroom to find that we had to supply someone to do Paveway Lines guard again. Please not me again!!! We decided who it would be by rolling "the dice". The dice were something new to us on joining Med Squadron, they seem to roll the dice to make every decision, either that our play "Spoof". Fortunately for the rest of us Musn Steve Perry lost the roll (ah, shame!!) and off he went. The rest of the day dragged as usual with the watching of dozens of videos, DVD's, Playstation games and reading of papers. Nothing else to report. Boring.

Sunday 10th

Author, Newly promoted Band Lance Corporal Cory Brown

Another day off in "Club Med" (ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz). Say no more!! What a life!! Just like to say a big thank you to my family and Lynda, my girlfriend and for all the support and mailies throughout the duration of this deployment. I miss you all and can't wait to come home and spend some quality time with the best girlfriend ever!!