The Savage Report

The Role of the Band Secretary BRNC Band

or

Les - Miserable?

A true story by Steve Savage aged approximately 1,199,334.5454 miles
(at 116 beats per minute and with a full pace of 30 inches)

As my reader will now be aware, I have moved westward and am now firmly ensconced in BRNC once more. As always seems to be the way with Dartmouth and the Naval College, nothing much had changed since the last time I was here, in fact the MOD Guard who let me through the main gate this time was the same guy who let me through back in 1981! The hills are just as steep as I remembered and the views are still stunning. Somewhat less stunning was the Band's old wrinkled retainer, BdCSgt Les Sheppard, the Band Secretary, who met me at the Bandroom. Apart from sporting a little more midriff and a little less hair, he hadn't changed much either. He showed me to my office and changing grot, which again are the same as the last time, and I proceeded to settle in. As I stowed my hooters in the instrument store, I noticed something sticking out between the wooden slats right at the back of the top shelf. Curiosity had got the better of me so I decided to find out what it was. After hoiking it out with a music stand, I found to my surprise that it was a plaster mould of my own lower teeth complete with the lip guard that had been made for me five years earlier! Goodness knows how it got there, but it had managed to stay there since I left the last time and must have survived umpteen sets of Commander's and Commodore's rounds! Still, reunited at last. I don't know whether I could have survived for much longer without it!

Not having been in a Band for quite a while and therefore a little out of touch with some of the working practices, I found myself relying on the expertise of Les to point me in right direction. His length of service, both as a Band Secretary and within the Naval College itself, mean that Les is our local oracle and fount of all knowledge. And, as a Band Secretary, he needs to be. With that in mind, and the fact that much of their work is so far 'behind the scenes' that even those in the Band Service don't always get to see what they do, I thought it might nice to give my reader an insight into what a Sec does. But before I divulge the secrets of the Secretary, I'll just enlighten you with a potted history of the man himself.

Les joined the Band Service in April 1972 at the tender age of 15 and 4 months - not bad, as his Mum only sent him out for a paper. The only other 'squaddie' of Les still serving is WO1 Gary Pumford, but he was in 'The Wing' with such stalwarts of the Band Service as WO2 Mac McDermott and CSgts Dave and Martin Sharp, Jan Zawada, Ken Peers, Dave Bromley and your Editor.

Although he says he had a temporary draft to CTCRM Band whilst still under training, he was really only doing a recce in order to secure the best locker, as he was drafted to CTCRM for real in December 74. Although now in the big wild world of the adult Band Service, he was still not old enough to vote, drink or watch those movies. During those months as a minor, Les is proud of the fact that he never, ever voted - well, one out of three wasn't bad! After 2 enjoyable years he was drafted on board 'The Ark'. No dearest reader, not the one built by Noah but I do see where you're coming from. Also serving on HMS ARK ROYAL at that time was one BSgt Richard Waterer, the principal trombonist, I wonder what ever happened to him?!

Having visited a plethora of foreign ports via 'grey funnel ferries', 'twas the port of Dartmouth that soon beckoned. Les admits that he had a bit of a shock to his system as the Band were on parade six days a week: Colours on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and Divisions on Tuesdays and Thursdays with a full Ceremonial version on Saturdays for good measure! However, he soon sussed that as there were three trombonists there would be an opportunity to work a rotation system - that is unless you were late for a parade, as the punishment was then to undertake the remaining Colours and Divisions for that term. The other trombonists had the utmost respect for Les as he always managed to be late for one Colours a term, so Les spent three years in the Parade Band and the others trombonists did week on, week off!

There then followed two further drafts in the Country that is West, one of them to the Commando Forces Band in Plymouth. It was during this draft that Les was afforded the privilege of being issued a brand new trombone. By way of trying it out, he was selected to perform at a BRNC Senior Gunroom Dinner - a rarity indeed. The assembled diners had not long got into the main course when the Bandmaster de-batoned himself and told the Orchestra to 'take five'. As they lifted and shifted, the Bandmaster knocked over Les's trombone stand rendering the brand new hooter somewhat useless. Needless to say Les was mortified but at least his tuning improved - his words not mine! He never got issued a new one again.

Les soon found himself as the Volunteer Band Instructor of HMS Invincible. After gaining some more sea time, Les went back to CTCRM. When he arrived however, he was told he wasn't required and should therefore go to BRNC - bizarre I know, but I can only put it down to the fact that the Boss at CTCRM must have heard him play before! So, Les unofficially joined BRNC in September 1993 and officially in April of 1994. The lure of a desk was too much for him to resist and he took over the role of Band Secretary from one BSgt Ted Hobden, who was to take the redundancy package offered that year, and he has been here ever since. The rest, as they say, is history.

In the same way that window cleaners often refer to themselves as 'vision technicians' and binmen call themselves 'environmental cleansing operatives', Les prefers to call himself the Operations Co-ordinator rather than Band Secretary! Although it sounds like he has ideas above his workstation, he has pretty much hit the nail on the head. Gone are the days of just typing the Boss's letters, making coffee and answering the phone when the Band is out gigging. Whilst there is still a fair amount of those duties to be undertaken, there is now a far greater amount of co-ordination, liaison, administration and management involved in the daily running of the Band. One downside as far as I'm concerned is that he doesn't make coffee because he doesn't drink it - there is just no accounting for taste.

A Band Secretary is in essence the focal point of the Band; the first point of contact between the Band and any current or future sponsors of engagements. He is also the lynchpin between SO3 Band - the giver of gigs and the Band on the ground. This is an essential role, the importance of which can never be taken for granted. It is very difficult to quantify the exact tasks of the Band Secretary and a few hastily crayoned paragraphs from me can never show my reader just how much responsibility lies with the Band Secretaries or indeed just how much time and effort they put in.

As the first point of contact it is he who asks all the pertinent questions regarding such subjects as timings, venue, victualling, accommodation, transport, combination, musical requests, VIPs and, one of Les's personal favourites, who's paying. Once he has enough information, the Band Secretary produces a new engagement file containing all the relevant details and contact numbers. Once raised, it is passed to the tasking NCO to produce nominals as required, to the engagement I/C for programmes of music and then to the Engagement Manager (EM) for further action, i.e. to undertake a recce if required and to tie up all the loose ends. Even though the EM will have 'padded out' the file with the information he has gleaned, the Band Secretary will continue to be in contact with the sponsor to ensure that all details remain extant or that any changes are noted. This liaison between sponsor and Band is crucial to the overall success of the engagement. Diplomacy, tact and knowledge are essential at this stage of the game. We have all known instances where there has been a potential problem with accommodation or victualling for example; a few pertinent phone calls close to an engagement can save a great deal of harassment or embarrassment on the part of both the Band and the sponsor.
The other factor that is difficult to express in this article is the time factor involved in dealing with the sponsor. It is extremely rare to confirm all the details at the first time of asking, so much of this information is gleaned from correspondence or from numerous phone calls over a considerable period of time.

I am now fed up with writing 'Band Secretary' all the time because unlike them I can only one-finger type whereas they can at least use two, so for me this is very time consuming, so I'll refer to his as the 'Sec' from now on.

Once the engagement is completed, the Sec is then required to chase up any payment to the Band that is required by the sponsor, to draft any 'thank yous' required, and to ensure that any expenditure that occurs, such as transport, is paid. Only after all the 'I's are dotted and the 'T's are crossed can the file be, well, filed. With upwards of 150 engagements per year in BRNC alone, this in itself generates a huge amount of engagement files, many of which run concurrently. Combine this with the copious amount of internal and external correspondence sent to each Band daily, then it is essential that the Sec operates a flawless file registry.

Insofar as transport is concerned, it is also the Sec's job to manage the Band's Temporary Duty Travel and Subsistence Budget (TDT&S). With this in mind, Les produces all the associated paperwork and records all expenditure regarding coach and car hire and subsistence. He then forwards these records of expenditure to SO3 Band in order to produce an annual breakdown of the overall TDT&S expenditure for the entire Band Service.

The nature of his business requires that he attend the annual Band Engagements Conference held in November along with the DoM. This is the occasion where all the bids received by SO3 Band for engagements from the next April to April the following year are discussed and allocated to each Band. This enables the Sec to build up the Band's programme for the coming year, a necessity for the planning aspect of the Band's weekly routines and rehearsal schedules. However, most of us know that these are not the only engagements undertaken by the Band as many late or 'emergency' bids are made directly to the Band itself, coming from the parent units. Again the Sec works his magic and ensures that the sponsors are given the correct advice and that the correct procedures are adhered to.

Alongside the above is the need to deal with general enquiries with extreme professionalism and sensitivity. Whilst this may seem obvious, the temptation to forward much more interesting responses must be huge. For example, Les was recently asked why some Ranks in the Band were wearing sashes, now I'm afraid I would have had to say that they were the Ranks under punishment - an answer I heard given to the same question many years ago. Similarly, what do you say when a Naval Officer asks whether the string quartet that are playing at Thursday's dinner can do a Mess Beating's beforehand! That's why I could never have been a Band Secretary!

To deal with the incessant demands made by the Band members themselves the Sec needs to be a walking telephone book, personal organiser and policy guru. It is imperative that the Sec also has a good working knowledge of all NCO's tasks as he may well be asked to carry out aspects of their job while the Band is away or in an emergency. This was never more necessary than during the recent Firefighters' strike and the Iraq conflict when the majority of the Band Service was otherwise engaged. Bills needed paying, Unit meetings needed attending, engagements needed cancelling, 'Blue Band' and 'Globe and Laurel' articles needed writing, music needed returning to the Central Music Library, workmen needed access and enquiries regarding the Band still needed answering. Les also became a point of contact regarding welfare for the local families of those deployed.

Whilst each Band's Sec will have their own personal way of doing things and their own little systems, the role throughout the Band Service is essentially the same. However, over and above the day to day administration and office management duties, the Secs will find themselves with various extraneous tasks appertaining to their particular Band. In Les's case they consist of being the Band representative for the Commander's Charity Committee, Senior Rates Mess secretary and Band representative, and Band Welfare representative.

On top of all that, Les still gets involved with the security on engagements, is the lighting co-ordinator at the Casper John Hall Concerts and even gets his trombone out on occasions - although we don't encourage him to blow it. And if all that is not enough, Les is also secretary of the BRNC Car Club and the secretary of the local scout troop. As he told me this I had a vision - I saw Les resplendent in a multi-badged stone shirt and green beret, with his woggle shoved up tight under his chin, dib, dib, dibbing with the best of them. Les put me straight immediately saying that he only did admin for them and as such he did very little 'ging', even less 'gang' and absolutely no 'goolie' whatsoever.

It is fair to say that it takes a certain type of person to become a Band Secretary. They need to be the 'jack of all trades' and master of them all as the diversity of the skills required to be a successful Sec are second to none. They have to be proactive and yet reactive, persistent and yet patient, courteous and yet forceful and above all methodical, conscientious and totally committed to the betterment of the band. To that end Les works extraordinarily long days, sacrifices many evenings when he could be at home and often comes in during leave periods to ensure that all is running smoothly. As I said, it takes a certain type of person. So, is Les miserable? Is he unhappy with his lot? Not a bit of it. He thrives on the constant pressure, long days and hard work and does it all without the aid of caffeine. Having completed nine very successful years as a Sec and with hopefully to a few more to go yet, I suppose that says it all - he's obviously as mad as a box of frogs.

Les - Miseable?... No, just working hard as always!